Wednesday, February 21, 2007

CSI: Crime (Ob)Scene Investigation

To Las Vegas/Miami/New York for CSI, where science is sex and the money shot invariably involves tracking over serried rows of test-tubes.

The evidence of eros:
  • The technology of CSI is entirely devoted not to catching criminals but catching the eye. Who can resist the neon petri dishes of the Miami version or the slate and blacks of New York? It's design fetishism.
  • The models/scientists float from one bench to another, their brows cutely furrowed, as plastic as porn stars. They manage to make crawling under a car's belly as glamorous as a glide down the catwalk.
  • The thumping soundtrack is hardly suggestive of the tombstone lab quiet, occasionally disturbed by some mechanical whirring, we all imagine. Click, click, whir, whir, oh baby, oh baby - it's all the same.
Murder has never looked hotter.

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